A Woman of Valor

I have alternately loved and hated Proverbs 31:10-31. Depending on your translation, it is listed as “an ode to a capable wife” (NRSV), ” the “virtuous wife” (NKJV), the “wife of noble character” (NIV), or “description of a worthy woman” (NASB). All of these titles remind me that the bible, in all its beauty and complexity, was written by human (male) hands though inspired by God.

Now, I have never been a radical feminist. I am a Southerner, I value and like my male friends as well as my female friends, and am happily married to a wonderful man. But, I confess our tasks at home mostly fall along traditional lines, with me doing more of the cooking and cleaning while my husband does the outside stuff. We respect each other and try and honor each other’s needs and interests. I certainly feel equal to my husband in our marriage and am treated as such. But, who knows what impact culture (and hidden sexism) has had in forming my interests and self-esteem. I was brought up in a home with a stay-at-home mother while my father worked outside of the home. My mother was a very strong person and taught my sister and I to be strong women. To take pride in ourselves, to know we were equal to men, and to expect to be treated as equals in return. In this vein, I read Proverbs 31:10-31 and I feel comfortable with thinking of working hard, of clothing my family, of running a business to make money. It doesn’t feel sexist to think in these terms. It feels “right.” Hmmm …

I know many women who have been abused, dominated, controlled, and/or stymied in their careers just for the gender they are. The bible was often used as an instrument of pain in their lives rather than as a life-renewing and affirming source of good news that I believe God meant for it to be. In this vein, I read Proverbs 31:10-31 and I feel angry. I feel the injustice of expecting women to be responsible for others, that our value is in what we do rather than who we are, that we must toil and toil and too often are relegated to the home or into “acceptable” occupations. That there is a glass ceiling. I feel crushed in thinking that our next President has repeatedly made demeaning and sexual remarks about women, is a convicted offender, lies repeatedly without remorse, and stirs up the worst in humanity rather than the best. I fear what the next four years will bring. I am confounded that so many people voted for him. And I am so sad that a strong and highly capable candidate lost, probably in part due to being female.

This leaves me feeling bereft. I want to withdraw, to just take care of my own little life, my own little home. I feel tired. There’s not much fight in me these days.

Juana Ruiz is a friend from Colombia who works as a community organizer, human rights advocate, nutritionist, teacher and the leader of Las Tejadoras de Mampujan: Colores de Paz. I previously wrote about Juana and her group in the April 22, 2024 Sacred Stitches blog. Since the previous post, she has traveled extensively giving trauma healing workshops in multiple countries including Cuba, South Africa, and Peru and recently won the U.S. Secretary of State’s Human Rights Defender Award for 2024! She was one of 8 recipients world-wide chosen for this award and we were there to see Secretary Blinken hand it to her. Amazing! After the celebrations, we attended additional events at the Smithsonian’s African-American Museum where several wall-hangings by Las Tejadoras are included in a new exhibit, In Slavery’s Wake. This exhibit will be displayed until June 2025 and will then tour other parts of the world. It is worth a trip to Washington D.C. to see.

Juana certainly is one to emulate and admire. To draw strength from. To be inspired by. Juana’s country is mired in corruption and poverty in the midst of great beauty and resilience yet she hasn’t given up. She, personally, has suffered abuse and violence, broken relationships, and grave disappointments yet, she is driven to accomplish what she can for the good of her community. The flame of God burns brightly in her. I see the face of Christ when I look at her. Not as a perfect woman, but as an example in how she channels her personality and interests into something bigger than herself. She is more than her roles as wife and mother. She is a woman of value in her own right, using her talents and gifts to better the world as she feels called to do. Though she has trouble in just “being” rather than “doing,” she is a light of hope for me. Truly, a woman of valor.

~ Terri

Pictures by Charles Geiser, improved by Howard Friesen